Tales From the All-American Road Trip

Ahh, I'm back from a ten-day road trip to America's heartland. First to Owensboro, KY, (birthplace of Johnny Depp and the world's best barbeque), for a mini reunion with my mom's two sisters, their children and their children, and then on to Perry, IA, the quintessential midwestern small town, to spend a few days with David's family. Forty-five (45) hours spent driving in the Honda CRV, with no DVD player, and we managed to get back home with minimal shouting, pinching, flipping, crying, ignoring, and relieving our bladders in creative ways. The kids did pretty well too. I'm waiting on the pictures, so check back for updates. A recap of the highlights, the lowlights, and the headlights:

Day One: Chapel Hill to Owensboro, 13 hours. David and I decided that we would breakdown and buy the double DVD player, but when I went to pay at Sam's Club on the eve before our trip, my card (for my account at work) was denied. Forget it. Didn't have time to waste going to Best Buy. We always pass a Super Target and like-minded stores along I-40 near Knoxville, TN, so we planned to drive the first leg sans entertainment from the Wiggles, Elmo, anything Disney or Dora or Blue's Clues. First leg of the trip, pretty good. We were fresh. We were happy. The kids napped. Got to the Super Target in Knoxville, only to learn they did not have any double DVD players in stock. About to purchase a $200 single player that might not provide optimal viewing pleasure for both Grace and Johnny, I said to David, "STOP! Let's wait and buy the one we really want in KY."

Arrived at my first cousin's house in KY to be greeted by happy young people, great food, and an inviting pool. Saturday is the day on which to report, however, because it was as near a perfect day as I can remember. We started the day off with coffee, yummy breakfast treats, a leisurely dip in the pool and alternating turns on the GameBoy dance machine game that is all the rage. Have you tried that thing? You watch a tv screen while listening to a fast-paced dance beat and have to move your feet to the left, to the right, up, down, at the exact time that the corresponding arrow hits its target. Sound confusing? It is. But it's quite addictive once you get the hang of it. At 11:30 AM, I was invited to go to a quilt show with my Aunt Sadie, and while I didn't want to miss any of the reunion action back at the house, I did enjoy the opportunity to spend time with her and get a deeper peek into her creative world of designing and crafting breathtaking works of art. The quilt she's making for Grace is stunning. I can't wait until it's finished and here in this house.


While we were at the quilt show, another mini-van load of cousins arrived and after a quick lunch, it didn't take long for the kids to organize a game of "block war" down in the basement. You know those cardboard play blocks that are life-sized (but not as hard and dangerous)? Well, the idea in block war is for each team to construct a shield and fort out of whatever is handy in the basement. After teams of boys verses girls were decided, we basically started flinging blocks across the threshold as hard as we could. The game was to go on until someone cried. After working up a legitimate sweat hurling blocks for the girls' team, I realized I was the only cousin in my generation that was playing the game. In other words, I was the only "grown up," the only kid with kids partaking in the surprisingly fun (and difficult) game. No one cried, but something called us all upstairs.

A few hours later, the final group of cousins, aunts and uncles came so that by 4:00 PM, all 26 people were present. 21 of the 26 slept right there in the house, like one big slumber party. After block war, we all swam, jumped on the trampoline, ate, challenged each other at "dance party" and had an all-around good time. After dessert, we took three car loads out to "the farm" to light off fireworks, as we were banned from lighting them off in their backyard. Last year, the neighbor's hosta plants got burned to a crisp by an errant bottle rocket. We needed wide open spaces. We sat on bricks to watch the show. Unfortunately, my kids, being the youngest, got out-of-control tired and scared, so our car left early. When everyone returned, the teenaged kids organized a game of Capture the Flag and insisted that the parents (including me) play along. We started at 1o:30 PM and had so much fun that we wanted to play a second round, but the homeowner, my first cousin, had to say no as it was 11:30 PM and we were hooping and hollering and she thought aforementioned hosta-plant-owner neighbor would have something else on us to call the police about. I reassured everyone, no worries, the evening was young, and I initiated an all-ages game of charades. After acting out such titles as "Who Let the Dogs Out," "Mr. Roboto," and "Napoleon Dynamite," the only task remaining for the evening was to wait for little Sam (age 10) to fall asleep so we could put shaving cream on his hand and tickle his forehead so he would wipe his face with his hands and get shaving cream all over it. This event was also initiated and organized by me. Sam didn't fall asleep until 2:00 AM, and the shaving cream was so darn loud coming out, that we girls (me and the younger generation) blew it by laughing so loud that the prank didn't totally work. No worries, I reasurred again, we'd get Sam in the morning by putting stickers on his forehead or by taping a sign on his back that said, "Ask me if I like cheese."

I went to sleep not even that tired, like I could last all night with my cousins' kids, coming up with ways to have totally enjoyable good, clean fun.