Outta the Mouths of Babes

Advanced aplogies for anyone who might be offended/shocked/or grossed out by what follows:

I'll start off with a "Rated G" one:

Johnny: I'm tired. I have a yawn in my mouth.

And moving on and out of the G Rating...

Johnny: I just vomitted a little bit in my mouth.

The Scene: Sunday School, song time, singing a song about different animals and what we'd do if we had wings like a butterfly, a trunk like an elephant, etc. the point being that "I just thank the Lord for making me me." It gets to the point in the song that goes, "If I were an angle worm..." and Grace blurts out: 'penis.'

Grace: She a ho. (We can thank Aunt Kate for that)

Johnny: Batman has a "gina" (pronounced with a long "i")

Grace to her preschool teacher: Mommy had diarrhea this morning. (Thanks, Grace. My little girl with a speech delay. Looks like you can utter a complete sentence when you want to.)

And saving the R Rating for last...

The Scene: I'm driving the kids home from school one day, and they each have a sticker. Johnny is trying to peel his off and put it on his hand. Apparently, this is a difficult and frustrating task.

Johnny: (and he said the complete words) f-ing sh_t! This sticker, f-ing sh_t!