In Search of a Suitable Yellow Shirt

It’s 7:45 PM and I realize that, oh, crap! I still need to pick up a yellow shirt for Johnny to wear to Bible School tomorrow, because tomorrow is yellow-shirt day. The kids need to be bathed, their teeth need to be brushed and stories need to be read (we can’t skip bath tonight, because they both smell like wet dogs), and we have precisely one hour and fifteen minutes to accomplish all of this as David and I both have important (separate) conference calls to take at 9:00 PM.

Luckily it’s David’s night to do bath and I grab the car keys and rush out the door to Cole Park Plaza to hunt for a cheap yellow shirt. David is against the idea of buying a shirt just to wear for one day at Bible School, but he’s also against the idea of the alternative: me dressing Johnny in a winter Batman vest in 100-degree weather (at least it’s yellow). David can’t have it both ways, and one way or another, Johnny will be wearing yellow tomorrow.

We have a Dollar General, CVS, and Lowes Foods not too far from home. My first bet's on Dollar General, with CVS and Lowes as close fall-backs (respectively), because have you noticed what kinds of non-drugstore and non-grocery store items these places sell these days? Almost all kid birthday party and teacher appreciation gift-buying can be knocked out at CVS, and I’ve been known to Christmas-shop at Lowes (think fuzzy, cozy throw blankets and XXL navy fleece pullovers) while I’m there picking up juice and milk.

But, Dollar General is where I go first, hurrying through the aisles looking for flashes of yellow. I find two bad yellow shirts, but one is slightly less bad than the other. The really bad one says, “Chevy Trucks America” (or something just as stupid) and has these gaudy, big honking trucks on the front. David would kill me if I dressed Johnny in that. The other one is only slightly less ugly with three or four very big Power Rangers on it, but I know it will be a hit with Johnny. I have the Power Rangers shirt in my hand but quickly scan the rest of the kid-racks for bursts of sunshine and corn on the cob. I find some babyish stuff with pale yellow sleeves and decide they won't do on multiple levels. That's when I saw it: a bright yellow shirt, a less-offensive version with a simple black outline of a soccer player. Perfect! Until I saw it was a size 2. I hold it up, eyeball it and determine that even though it says "size 2," my almost 4-yr. old that wears at least a size 5 could definitely squeeze into this for 2 1/2 hours.

It's about 8:15 PM as I take it to the counter and figure the kids are probably basically clean at this point and will be ready for some entertaining stories when I get home with this treasure. The best part (well, actually, the best part came later, it came this morning when Johnny told me that he loves his new shirt--and also that the sun could go to Bible School today because the sun is yellow)--the best part, and I love it when this happens, is that as I got out $6.42 to pay for the shirt, the cashier said, "That will be $4.49." Huh? "It's 30% off."

I love it when a plan comes together.