Cute, Educational and FREE

We're a fan of Jan Brett's children's books. The Mitten is one of our favorites. I read on the Momfidence! blog where you can print off cute Jan Brett Phonograms pages (37 in all) to help your emerging reader with the concept of rimes and word families.

Click here to get in on the fun.

Do You Think You Could Take it Down a Notch?

I had an interview at a Field Placement Agency (aka a place to do my first social work internship) two weeks ago and had this strange experience of feeling like I needed to play myself down in order to build myself up. Let me explain: We had a board meeting at work on the same day of my Field Placement interview, so it made sense to me to wear my nicest black suit. I can bring it when I want to, and that day I brought it. I did my research on the company for which I was interviewing, and I came prepared with lots of questions. The agency provides mental health services to children ages 3-21 and their families, mainly in their homes, mainly low-income families. I was told that the over-arching philosophy of the agency is to build on the family's strengths and to treat the family unit as the entity that drives the services they receive. In other words, the family guides what type of help they need, rather than the providers dictating what needs to be done to "fix" the family.

My interviewer read over my resume and asked me some questions about my past working with low-income and disenfranchised populations, yadda yadda. I talked all about my year as a VISTA Volunteer (where I qualified for subsidized housing AND food stamps) and my experiences with Adult Education learners upon my return to North Carolina. Then I talked about what I'm doing now, administering a private foundation in Cary, whose operating budget stems almost entirely from interest earned on the original multi-million dollar endowment. What this guy saw and experienced first-hand just didn't add up. He even said as much. He read and heard me talk about working with poor people but saw me in an expensive business suit emitting executive-level confidence and command. He told me I came across very polished and very powerful and reflected on the fact that I had pretty much dictated how the entire interview had just gone. His biggest concern was whether or not I'd be able to "take it down a notch" in the clients' homes and whether "corporate Sarah" (my term, not his) would feel comfortable going into poor people's homes and helping them from the vantage point of the family as the unit of power.

I assured him I really wasn't that polished (is that ever a good thing to do in an interview?) and told him that I'd prove it by showing him the inside of my car, then invited him to come to my house to take a look at my ghetto screen door that's been broken for weeks. On the other hand, I didn't feel like I needed to apologize for being confident, knowledgeable and passionate about my field of study and pending Field Placement. I felt like telling him that we have friends who live in trailer parks AND in near mansions and that if it were really up to me, I'd like to get by with less attachment to stuff. I wanted to tell him about riding around in the 70's as a kid in a broken down Ford where the children of Appalachia looked at our family as the ones who stuck out, not the impoverished families my dad was studying. Simultaneously I wanted to tell him that I can hang with the best, the brightest, the richest, and the most notable characters even if I don't feel the most at ease doing so.

What I wanted to come across in the interview was that I do feel comfortable around poor people and at the same time, I am polished when I need to be or want to be. I can be a good listener, I am very down to earth and I can adapt to just about anything you throw my way. I'm also strong, powerful and assertive. I'm all that. Make no mistake, I'm not saying that I'm all that...I'm saying that I'm all that. There's a difference. I'm all that and I don't apologize for any of it. Except maybe the ghetto door that lets flies into my kitchen .

Of course I can take it down a notch if and when the occasion calls for it. What I want to know is can he?

Best Friends

My kids each invited their best friend over for a double play-date this past Saturday. They all four had a blast but instead of me telling you about it, I'll let these pictures speak for themselves.

In My Humble Opinion

Dear Sarah,

Since you found out both your kids' current gradutations are on June 6th, I know you've struggled with what to do and have asked a lot of mothers what they would do in this situation. Now I ask that you listen to what I have to say about the matter.

I hope you've figured out by now that you cannot be all things to all people at all times, despite how you sometimes try. Many people who care about you and care about your health have been encouraging you to cut down on all your "extra activities" and as your dad has recently told you, aside from yourself, you really don't owe anything to anyone except your family and your job. Most people don't get how important your extra activities are to you and that even though they require time and energy and sometimes cause stress, most of the time you'd rather be engaged in these activities and be tired at the end of the day than give these things up and still be tired at the end of the day. Trust me, I get it. I get you like no one else.

I've thought about it a lot, and even after I saw your summer school professor's unflinching eyes when you shared your predicament, I think you should go to Johnny's gradutation from Spanish for Fun Academy. For the sake of weighing the pros and cons, let's break it down into specifics:

You know it's on June 6th and you've been told it will occur between 10:00 AM and 12:00 PM. You also know that only one preschool class is graduating, and according to your calculations, that's no more than 12 students. Will it really take 2 hours for 12 5-year olds to sing 3 songs and walk across the stage? In all likelihood, even if you got there right at 10:00 AM, the program probably won't get started until 10:30 AM at the earliest. C'mon, it's Spanish For Fun and after 7 years of associating with the center, you should understand quite clearly now that Latinas take their time with time.

So, Johnny tells you they're singing 3 songs and you know the kids are all going to be individually recognized as they walk across the stage. Then there's going to be lots of food. You know all this. Your class starts at 9:00 AM and ends at 12:00 PM. Somewhere in there, you get a 15-minute break...From 12:00 PM-1:00 PM, you get an hour break for lunch. Your class meets less than a mile on the busline from SFFA. I say, show up fully prepared for class at 9:00 AM and contribute your ass off whenever possible. If MG asks a question, be the first to answer. Be the first to offer up real-life examples just like you did last week. Make relevant comments about specific assigned readings for that class. Sign the attendance sheet if it gets passed around before the break. At the break, hoof it down to SFFA as quickly as possible and make sure Johnny knows when you arrive. I can already see him beaming and it's going to make your heart happy.

Attend and be fully present for the remainder of the graduation for as long as you can without being late for your afternoon class. That means while you're sitting there being proud of Johnny and tearing up with the other moms and dads and teachers because this is the last year for your last child at SFFA, really be in the moment and try not to think about what you're missing in class. If your mind wanders to the topic of mood and anxiety disorders, gently, without judgment, nudge your thoughts back to graduation. (All your hours in yoga class should serve you well with this).

Try to enjoy the graduation as a meaningful transition for Johnny, for you and David, for the teachers and for the center and not as just one more thing you have to fit into your schedule. You know it and everyone there knows it: there's something special about the closeness of this graduating class...so much that Ms. Claudia herself has offered to organize a once-a-month Saturday Spanish-speaking playgroup for these kids when never before in her entire teaching career has she offered to work on the weekends.

You know that it's way more than Johnny's send off--it marks the end of an era in the lives of you and some of your best friends--some of your best friends that are also moms--moms that you've been getting together with for the last 5 years--moms who you've learned to become mothers with. It's also a major transition for you, David, and the center because after this, you and David won't have a sanctioned reason to go by and visit SFFA on a daily basis. You know that your visits are much more than drop offs and pick ups...that you routinely are asked to sit down awhile (and do) because these women have become close friends and confidantes...so close that they are the only ones besides family members who your kids want as babysitters, so close that they break the rules for your kids (to which you don't always agree), so close that even though it sounded preposterous when Adriana first declared that she'd fight with Kate and your dad over who gets custody of Grace and Johnny if something were to happen to you or David, it's now totally within the current realm of possibility. So close that you're now invited to share all major special occasions with this family, and did just yesterday at Adriana's daugther's graduation party.

Maybe MG will take off 5% of your final grade for missing 1/2 of 1 class session; maybe she'll take off the full 10%. If she takes off the full 10%, you won't have a chance of earning an Honors grade for this course. I say get used to this possibility right now. You've already proven that you can make Honors grades in this program--so far you've done it every time. The goal of social work education is to prepare you to work in the field with a very diverse client population. Even though your professor may not agree, I strongly believe that the 1.5 hours you'll spend on June 6th celebrating with your family and friends at the SFFA graduation will prepare you infinitely better from a real-world perspective than the 1.5 you'd otherwise spend in discussion, listening to a lecture, or watching a video clip.

So, there you have it. In my humble opinion, I think you should "split the difference" and go to half your class and to most of graduation. You may not be everything to everyone on that particular day, but I think it's the right decision and one you won't regret. SFFA Graduation on June 6th? I wouldn't miss it for el mundo.

Love,
Bird

The Bird-Spot Kids

I spent part of Mother's Day with my kids and the talented Genevieve Fridley as we adventured through Chatham County on a photo shoot. Click here to see 3 shots from that session, these particular ones taken at the Bynum General Store. I love how long Grace's legs look, I love that Johnny's hair is longer than Grace's, and I love the fact that Clyde Jones ribbed me by acting like he couldn't tell whether my kids were girls or boys.

Thanks, Genevieve, you definitely captured their essence. I can't wait to see the rest!

Funny (Funnier to us than to you!)

My Mom
by Grace

My mom is 35 years old, and weighs about 59 pounds. She works at the Foundation where she meets somebody and talks to them about working. I know she loves me because she likes to play with me. My favorite food that mom cooks is pasta, and her favorite food is peanuts. Mom makes me happy when she reads me stories. She loves to type on the computer when she has free time. If I had a million dollars, I would buy her some make-up. My mom thinks the best thing about being a mom is taking me on a beach trip.

My Dad
by Grace

My dad is 12 years old and about 10 feet tall. I know my dad loves me because he tucks me into bed. My dad's favorite sport is baseball and his favorite food is macaroni. He loves to go to "Spanish For Fun." I know my dad loves being a dad because he's big and he is happy. If my dad could buy anything he wanted, I think he would buy some glasses. My favorite thing to do with him is go to his work!

No He Di-Ent

I called up my neighborhood spa to reschedule an appointment I have tomorrow...from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. He looked me up in the computer...paused, and said, "We don't have you on the schedule for tomorrow. We have you on the schedule for June 6th."

I Love You, Too

My immune system is like mush these days and I'm picking up every virus that blows over my flip-flopped feet. I've recently missed several big events that I really wanted to go to but couldn't because my body was screaming out, "DON'T DO IT!! STAY HOME AND REST INSTEAD!!" One of these events was seeing Grace sing in church this past Sunday. David took the kids and while there, Johnny wrote me a love note tucked inside a tiny offering envelope. Here it is:



To borrow a phrase from dooce, if you don't currently have a four-year-old, I highly recommend going out and getting one right away. I love you, too, Johnny.

WWJD?

Could anything else possibly be happening on Friday, June 6th? Because if it is, I need to know about it now.

I usually don't work on Fridays, but something special is happening at work on June 6th, and I've been asked to attend. In addition, I'll be in summer school, and June 6th marks the 4th week out of 5. In 5 weeks, we have 10 class sessions. For each class session missed, 10% of our grade will be docked. Also on June 6th is Grace's "Kindergarten Graduation" ceremony. On top of that, I just found out that Johnny's Spanish For Fun Graduation Ceremony is on the same freakin day. Work, school, 2 graduations...all on the same day at the same time. What to do, what to do. Go ahead, invite me to something else that day between 10:00 AM and 1:00 PM. Go ahead. I dare you.

WWJD?

The Arcade Fire/Superchunk Concert in Carrboro, baRACKed!

David said it was the best Carrboro show he's seen ever. Uncle Matty said he was really glad he took the day off to come see it. A random woman (who left her husband with her two kids for the day so she could come to Carrboro for the first time ever (!) from Cary as she's a huge Arcade Fire fan) that I befriended on the walk to Tyler's after the show gushed about how original Arcade Fire's music and lyrics are. They're positive. The have like ten people in the band who move around switching instruments. One minute, the curly-headed woman is playing keyboards, next she's singing lead, next she's banging on the drums. It was a great live show made even better because it was free and in support of an original and positive presidential candidate. This staffer-type got up and got the crowd energized about how it's not about the person who gets elected for president as much as it's about all of us, America. And if Obama's the best candidate, then let's put him there. It's not about beating McCain and Clinton, it's about putting forth a candidate who will work for the betterment of all Americans. If Obama's the best candidate to do that, then put him there. It's not just about who's best for NC, but who's aslo best for Indiana, California, Guam, and Puerto Rico. If Obama is the best candidate, we've got to PUT HIM THERE. The crowd cheered and I expected the white-shirt staffer guy to say, "Give it up for Arcade Fire!" Instead, he started moving with such intensity I was almost embarrassed for him. It wasn't until he started banging away on the keyboard that I realized he was in the band and only today realized he's the frontman's brother. Whew. They all got so into it and so did the crowd, it was impossible not to have a good time. And apparently impossible to go away not wanting to vote for Obama, even if you were undecided going in. (Just ask David). Superchunk's energizing pogo-ing bassist, the sunny skies and pleasant breeze, catching up with friends, spending an afternoon with your husband and not having to pay a babysitter, the positive energy of Carrboro, the passion of politically-minded and talented musicians, and the seamless convergence of indie rock supporting BArack added up to one really great Friday afternoon in May.

Hanging Up the Merle Fest Hat for Good?

David: How was it?

Me: Probably the worst one I've been to. The minute we got there, the rain/thunder/and amplified music hurt Grace's ears and she wanted to go home. Then Johnny didn't want to actually listen to any music. He just wanted to run around and play in the rain and mud puddles.
I hardly heard any music at all!

David: But that's how it is every year, only that usually I'm the one who watches the kids while you go running off listening to music.

Me: Oh. Well in that case, why bother even going? You don't care about it that much as evidenced by choosing to attend a work-related wedding than coming with us this year. There are closer, cheaper, and more fun venues to go to for me to hear music while letting the kids run around willy nilly. Yeah, I think that's our last Merle Fest for awhile.

David: Sorry it wasn't that fun.

Johnny: I had a blast.

Grace: Me too. I had a blast.