A Peak Into Spanish For Fun Academy

David does the website and the blog for Spanish For Fun Academy. A video and pictures from today's Halloween party are already up (and I'm thankful because I didn't get to go). If you're interested, check it out...but be sure to scroll down and watch the clip of "Having some fun!" It's a great slice of life at the school for anyone who cares.

Cindabird

Props to my friend Tom Klubens-Photographer who whipped up this image in minutes upon my request. Tom is a talented photographer, veteran skateboarder, and all-around cool guy who used to drag Kate and me to High School back in the day. He drove fast and made us listen to the Misfits, Danzig, the Dead Kennedys or other like-minded old-school punk. He reminded me that I wrote in his yearbook our senior year, "Riding to school was both life-threatening and a great way to start the day."

Bizarre, Just Plain Bizarre

I got the strangest trick and treat ever yesterday when one of my dad's old college buddies called me to ask me if I'd heard the rumor. What rumor? That my dad had died. That was the trick (except it wasn't intended to be a trick. People thought it was true.) The whole story is so bizarre that I will have to collect my thoughts and the details for a proper post sometime soon. The treat is that my dad is alive.

Pulling One Over on Starbucks

I've settled into a pretty regular routine of going to yoga on Sundays from 4-5 PM and then to Starbucks for a couple of hours of reading/studying. Occasionally I drink regular coffee at that hour (and later), but as I go there mainly for an optimal place to study--free of incessant kid chatter and the site of dirty dishes--I feel obligated to buy something, and that something usually includes a Grande, black, decaf. Starbucks patrons probably know that if you ask for some type of coffee drink that has to be brewed, the drink's on Starbucks. Every single time I've gone there to order a decaf coffee, they've had to brew it, and I've gotten my beverage for free. I guess the vast majority of people buying coffee at Starbucks at any hour buy regular doses of strong java. And that Starbucks is confident with their gamble that they'll save more money in the end by not regularly brewing decaf and having a few customers a week asking for it, rather than always having a fresh pot of decaf brewed and only having a few customers a week asking for it. I'm not complaining--I'll keep taking my decafs on the house.

All My Kids Have Ever Needed to Know (So Far) They've Learned From the Movie 'How to Eat Fried Worms'

I think I've mentioned here before that Grace's and Johnny's favorite movie is 'How to Eat Fried Worms.' The 2006 movie was made from the book of the same title by Thomas Rockwell. David and I have thanked our lucky stars that this movie, with real kids, real humor, and real gross-out scenes, is the one they love most than, say, 'Elmo in Groucholand' or 'Dora Does Dallas.' We don't get tired of watching this movie any more than they do.

It's a classic tale of middle-school kids and the trials that occur when a new boy arrives at school and upon being challenged by the school bully, claims he can eat 10 worms in one day. Each character has a distinct role: Joe is the Bully, Billy, the new kid, Bradley's the timekeeper, Benjy, the cooker. There's only one girl name Erika that is tall and smart and the boys call her"Erk." Grace and Johnny bust out into 'Fried Worms' characters quite frequently and sometimes it takes me awhile to figure out that they're playing. When Johnny pushes Grace down the floor and she doesn't object--I realize they're enacting a scene from the movie, and that, therefore, the act of aggression is "play." When I kiss Grace in the morning and she hisses, "GET AWAY YOU BIG GIANT!" I am not at all offended...it's a line from the movie. When Johnny asks to wear my rings on his fingers (the bigger the better), I understand that he's playing Joe, the bully, with his intimidating death ring...that when used to punch out 10-year-olds, it will cause them to die...but not immediately...in the 8th grade.

A favorite scene in the movie is when "Adam" dances to Crazy Frog's 'Get Ready for This' on the dance dance revolution video game. The kids flipped out when they saw the video game at the bowling alley a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, the 'Adam' song wasn't one they could choose from on the game, and the kids were disappointed. David went home and fixed that with this video. It's my favorite video that he's done so far but apparently a 14-year old kid who found it on YouTube wasn't as impressed. David got his first comment (which he deleted) from this movie clip that said, "This is just dancing and bowling. You suck." Classic.

It's That Time of Year Again

Every year around this time I get a hankerin for haystacks, those tasty little butterscotch treats that your mom probably used to make. Every year I make them, eat too many, and then end up not wanting another haystack for a l-o-n-g time, precisely, for another year. I made a batch last night. At first Grace and Johnny were dubious (as in, "We don't want to eat hay"), but they ended up liking them just as much as I do. In case you want to try yourself:

BUTTERSCOTCH HAYSTACK CANDY

2 (6 oz.) pkg. butterscotch morsels
1 (6 1/2 oz.) can peanuts
1 (5 oz.) can chow mein noodles

Melt morsels over medium heat. Stir in peanuts and noodles. Spoon onto wax paper. Shape into haystacks.

YUM!

Fall Break

UNC is in Fall Break so I don't have class today. Yippee! And how do I plan on spending the day? Here's how:

1. Go to the gym
2. Go eat lunch with Grace at her school
3. Go for an hour-long massage
4. Go meet some classmates at Wilson Library's Rare Books and Manuscripts section (we are wild and crazy, aren't we?)
5. Spend some time in Johnny's class
6. Order a pizza
7. Watch a movie with David

Other news...

Grace's teacher asked me if I was expecting another baby. I thought, omg, do I look pregnant? But, no, Grace told her teacher that I told her last night that I was having another baby. Part of me wishes and part of me wishes not.

Oprah has a thyroid disorder too. Big whoop. If I had one month where I could go "rebalance" in Hawaii, I'd probably feel a lot better too. I'm not feeling your pain, O.

Gotta work on my Halloween costume this weekend. Gonna step up the Cinderella get-up this year in a big way. Stay tuned.

Check This Blog Out...It's "Hilarious"

http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

From the Desk of My Husband-The Vice President

Below is word for word an e-mail that David sent all staff at his place of his employment. I love it.

I want to thank the kind employee who left a giant box of mixed-matched coat hangers in my office for “any client who may have a need to hang some clothing up.”

Remarkably, this fills a need at this time. The Nothing to Hide Coalition, of which I am a part, tentatively had plans for a November “Coat Hanger Drive,” with all coat hangers acquired to be dispersed to “any individual suffering from mental illness in Orange County who may be in particular need of a coat hanger.” (We joked in meetings that we were going to call ourselves the “Nothing on Which to Hang Coalition.” We had a lot of laughs about that.)

Now—with the exception of about eight hangers that I’m thinking I can remove from my wife’s closet without her knowing—we’ve suddenly and abruptly reached our quota. A great need has been met.

The employee who helped out is a kindred spirit with my late Gran Cooley—a JFK fanatical Holy Roman Catholic with a wonderful spirit for extreme preservation and rescue of items that might seem to some as numberless and ubiquitous. Not so to visionaries like these. Gran Cooley taught me about the Great Coat Hanger Shortage of 67. She used to tell me of those dreadful times and say “lest we forget… lest we forget.”

Thanks for all those hangers… they now have a good home.

David E. Cooley

Vice President

Kindergarten Aggression

Grace has gotten mostly greens at school at the end of each day, but last Monday she came home with a red for hitting a little girl in the face. Ok, she punched her. In the face while they were standing in line for music class. For no apparent reason. Grace wouldn't explain to her teachers or to us why she hit this girl. All she kept saying was, "Because I did" and something about the girl not wanting to be her friend. (At least she didn't say "The devil made me do it," my brother's response as to why he carved and defaced one of my mom's antique dressers back in the 70's) My first instinct (after getting onto Grace and letting her know that is never ok to hit someone out of frustration) was to contact the parents and apologize and then explain that Grace has some issues and that it was most certainly an unfortunate impulse that led to the hitting, not intended aggression. But, you know? I don't really know what I'm talking about because I have no idea why Grace hit that little girl. Maybe Grace was mad at the girl. One of my biggest challenges as a parent of a child with special needs is teasing out Grace's behaviors as a result of her disorganized neurology and behaviors that are considered typical for her age and development.

I told Kate about it and Kate told her supervisor and her supervisor told Kate to tell me about her Kindergarten daughter getting into a fist fight in line at Chik-fil-a. This experienced mother wanted to assure me that aggressive behavior like that is fairly common in Kindergarten as kids adjust and socialize to the wide world of school. Then Kate reminded me that she bit a little girl in pre-school but that by Kindergarten she had learned not to do that kind of thing. At school that is. For I distinctly remember Kate biting me on my cheek on top of a bruise I got falling off a see-saw when I was in 3rd grade and Kate in Kindergarten. She bit my bruise. Can you imagine how much that hurt? The scars ran deep. The bite made a scar on my right cheek that caused a dimple when I smile, and when I get really worked up, my dimple scar begins to twitch. The psychological scars took much longer to heal. By 4th grade picture time, I was still highly self-conscious of my dimple and I refused to smile for the camera. I was no longer symmetrical and I considered it a physical defect.

People have commented about how cute it is ever since then and when they do I just want to go up and bite their cheeks. The strangest thing is that Johnny was born with a dimple in his right cheek. No joke.

And Another...

Video of our kids. We just can't get enough.

Sick Daze

Johnny has been sick since Monday evening with a fever and a cough-thing. He stayed home Tuesday and yesterday. On Monday evening, when it was clear he wouldn't be going to school the next day, I began to give him some liquid Tylenol. He squirmed and I told him it would make him feel better. At that he began to wail and said between sobs, "But I don't want to feel better. Because if I feel better, I'll have to go to school tomorrow."

I knew just how he felt. I'm feeling it right this moment. I woke up this morning at 3:00 AM with a headache that I still haven't been able to shake. But since I haven't been able to shake it? I get to stay home from work and crawl back into my cozy bed and snuggle up with the cold side of my pillow.

The Good, The Bad, and the Hallucinations

I've just caught up on some sleep that I desperately needed. I told myself when I started the SW program that I was going to try to avoid at all costs staying up late doing schoolwork. I often have trouble thinking clearly as it is (hormones) so adding lack of sleep to my taxed bird brain is just not a good idea. I violated that "pact" with myself this week trying to get a paper done that was due yesterday. For academic writing, I need lots of time to write many drafts and go over it many many times. I didn't have enough hours this past week to tackle this paper like I should have. I have to make critical choices every week about how to spend my time, and I haven't wanted SW to get in the way of my other priorities in life. It has gotten in the way this week, specifically with my priority of sleeping.

I had done the best I could drafting this paper on how the NASW Code of Ethics is limited in the support of policy practice. Wednesday I stayed up really late and got up really early working on the paper. Then Thursday rolled around and it was crunch time-I had to finish up and do whatever it took to get it done. Thursday, however, was a very busy day. Grace is now in choir at church every Thursday from 5:00-5:45 PM. This poses a scheduling dilemma for David and me, as in, who takes off work early to take her to choir every week. It's something I want to do, so I've done it the last two times. I wouldn't have traded this past Thursday for anything. It was a beautiful day and while Grace was in choir, Johnny and I had a relaxed time walking around Franklin Street. We discovered a new Halloween store right beside Schoolkids Records that I highly recommend--and it sure beats driving all the way to Southpoint Mall. We had a blast looking at all the costumes and masks for grownups and kids. Grace and I already know we're both going to be Cinderella this year, but Johnny and David are having a hard time narrowing down their options. It was fun kicking it on Frankin Street with Johnny, something I had never really done before.

After choir, I drove the kids to Weaver Street to meet David for their standing Thursday evening thing. He was there drinking a beer and I sat down long enough to have one too before facing the realities of the rest of my evening. You probably think that I left Weaver Street to go work on my paper, but that's not what happened. I left Weaver Street to drive to a Speech Pathologist's office to receive a comprehensive report on the results of Grace's evaluation regarding her Auditory Processing disorder. That whole thing is a blog post in itself (about how Grace was first seen in May, then again in Aug. and how the therapist canceled one appointment with me and simply wouldn't return my calls or written notes and how I was getting increasingly pissed because Kindergarten has been in session for a month and Grace's team has been waiting on this report to help guide her interventions...)

But--I showed up Thursday at 7:00 for what turned out to be a very good, detailed, comprehensive report on Grace's strengths, deficiencies and interventions that we need to put into place NOW rather than waiting until 2nd or 3rd grade when she begins to really struggle. At 8:15 PM I began slowly inching out of the therapist's office, anxious about how I was going to get this paper done. I got home, helped put this kids to sleep and then at 9:30 PM picked my paper back up again. I use my gmail account a lot by e-mailing drafts of documents to myself that I can work on a little here, a little there, a little wherever I can. So I logged onto gmail and opened the latest draft that I had e-mailed myself. As tired as I was, I knew I that this was it and that I had to push on through to get this freakin thing done. David stayed up with me awhile working on his own stuff and around 11:00 PM I began to break out into hives all over my body. I was itching everywhere and when I checked myself out in the mirror, I found red welts all over my body. Can stress bring out hives? Something brought them out and for the rest of the night, my fingers were busier than they have ever been in my whole life, alternating between scratching and typing, typing and scratching.

At 3:00 AM I was 4.7/5 finished with my paper. I needed to finish my concluding paragraph, do the title page and the reference page. I was spent and I needed to sleep. I printed out what I'd done so far and headed down the hall to the bedrooms. David was snoring so I went to Johnny's room. Johnny was sleeping in Grace's bed and Grace was sleeping on the floor in her room. I threw 3 weeks' of clean, unfolded laundry off of Johnny's bed onto the floor and as I crawled under the homemade quilt, I realized there were no sheets on Johnny's bed. I got settled on top of the quilt and pulled a clean sheet off the pile on the floor to cover up with. As I got settled in, my eyes gazed on Johnny's door right around the doorknob. I saw this small, black, furry ball creeping down his door slowly. I looked closer. Creep, creep. I turned the light on and nothing was creeping down the door. I turned the light off and the creeping started back. WTF? Light back on, no creeping. Light back off, creeping. I didn't have time for this hallucinatory-nonsense, so I made peace with it, and fell asleep. Until 5:30 AM.

Woke up at 5:30, came in to open the draft of the paper that I had saved 2.5 hours earlier but it wasn't there. I searched all over the computer in every way I knew how until about 6:00 when I made David come help me. He couldn't find the document either. Then I figured out what had happened. When I'd opened the document from gmail, from the internet, even though I'd saved it, I'd forgotten to save it on the desktop or in My Documents, so when I'd saved it, I'd saved it onto some unknown server out in CyberSpace. It was 6:30 and I need to e-mail the paper to my professor before 8:15 when I needed to leave for class. I thought about going to Kinko's with my printed out version so they could scan it in. Frustrated, David admonished me for letting something so underclassmanly cliche happen but gave me hope by suggesting I could probably just type it all over again. That's what I did.

From 6:45 AM to 8:15ish, I feverishly re-typed the paper I'd printed out, and I finished the title page and reference list. I've never been so focused in my life. Grace and Johnny were coming in asking me if they could take this or that to show and tell ("Yeah, sure"), asking me to read the new Dora book ("No, not now. DAVID! Please get them out of here!") and asking if they could wear their new shoes to school without socks on ("YES! Now, run along.) I wouldn't have known if they'd both gone to school without their pants on, and if I'd known, I wouldn't have cared.

At 8:15 AM, I e-mailed the paper to my professor, jumped in the shower, and was out the door by 8:32 AM. Arriving 12 minutes late to class, it was enough for my classmates to check at break if everything was ok, but not late enough that I stood out alone. Two people came in after me. I mostly regretted that I hadn't been able to check one last time for typing errors, but it was either do that or risk getting docked for the paper being late.

After my sleepless, stressful morning from hell, my troubles instantly melted away when I got my first paper back from my second class and discovered I'd made a perfect score. In addition to saying it was an excellent paper, my professor added,

I'm glad to hear that you're actively thinking of ways to decrease your stress level~this graduate program is very demanding and you'll enjoy it more and get more out of it if you can devote adequate time and attention to it.

This paper was an analysis of our personal genograms (family histories and patterns of relationships, medical issues, etc.) as well as our personal ecomaps, (visual representations of the supports and stressors in our lives). I'll leave you with my last sentence of that first paper, the essence pretty much summing up my personal motto:

I am better equipped to make decisions about how to balance my time and energies. I realize, and can apply to clients and their families, that at any given stage we are both the products of intergenerational influences over which we had no control and critical choices that we make every day. With this knowledge I will encourage my clients to live as I do, doing the best with what I have.

Look What I Just Got Invited To...

So, my sister has a relatively new job (2 months) and she's still surprised by little things her company does to build morale. Like this December event that she invited me to. How in the world could I turn this down?

Kate's Annual Company Meeting:

December 16th and 17th at the Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa in Asheville, NC.

December 16th:
4:00pm – Check-in at the Grove Park
5:30pm – Candlelight Tour and Dinner at the Biltmore

December 17th:
8:30am – Free time for me, company meeting for Kate
12:00pm – Enjoy the Grove Park, Shopping, and Spa
5:30pm – Reception, Dinner, and Dancing

Her company is taking care of everything except any shopping and spa treatments! They even have kids' activities lined up Sunday from 5:00-10:00 PM and Monday from 8:00 AM-10:00 PM, if I were to bring kids. But I'm not planning on it.

The Reason I'm Not Blogging Much Lately...

is because I've been working on two SW papers. The one due tomorrow addresses how the NASW (National Association of Social Workers) Code of Ethics is limited in policy practice. I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night, not intentionally though. Once I did call it a night, I tossed and turned and then I woke up at 5:30 AM. I'm definitely too old to keep this up.