Unexpected Roadtrip

At 2:00 AM yesterday morning, we returned from an unexpected roadtrip. David called me at noon Thursday to tell me that his sister's husband had died, and by 2:00 PM on Friday, we were packed up and on the road to Ohio to be with Sandy. The thing is, we never met Brian, and Sandy and Brian had been married for five years. The last time we visited David's family in Ohio was Fall, 2000, before either of our kids were born. And the last time (only time) Sandy came to our house in NC was for a night when Grace was a newborn. Since David's parents moved to Iowa, that's where we go for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and summer visits (but only on one of those occasions per year). We are fortunate that David's other sister, Barb, and her children and their children, live so close to David's parents, because if it were otherwise, I'm sure five years could easily go by between visits with them.

Even though we all admitted it was too bad it took a tragedy for us to all to gather together, Sandy said it best: "That's just the way it is. Always." The point is, we did all make it and had the opportunity for Grace and Johnny to play with two-year old Emma Jane Jenkins and her big brother Justin, who took all three kids under his gentle wing, leading chase games in the basement and music time outside. There was Emma's and Justin's mother, Tina, whom I commiserated with over having a child with special needs. Cousin Ellen and I entered into a very natural conversation, at Laurie's baby shower, about our kids and desires, but also hesitations, in having more children. Aunt Judy raised people's spirits by delighting in the kids and snapping pictures of them in homemade Batman costumes that she and Ellen are letting us borrow. Sophisticated Cousin Brad drove in from Columbus, and it was good to chat with him as we haven't seen him since our wedding in 1998. Uncle Don made an impression on many, with his touching words at Brian's Memorial Service. Laurie and Bill provided new life and hope for the family to talk about and wait for as they count down the days before their first child, a baby boy, is born. Barb and I shared about our writing, books we'd like each other to read, and creative techniques in taking kids' photographs. This wasn't the time to watch movies, but Millie and I ate the famous cinnamon buns at Holiday Inn Express, stood in the kitchen nibbling chocolate cake, strawberry angel food cake, and chocolate chip cookies for hours upon hours, it seemed. And Sandy. Sandy was gracious, numb, happy, apologetic, scattered, tearful, exhausted, irritated, unapologetic, angry, loving, appreciative, sincere, and completely heart-broken over losing the man she thought she'd grow old with.