The Last 10 Days, Days 4-7

David stayed through the weekend, and without much change, drove back to Chapel Hill for his Sunday shift. While he was there, though, he did what he does best. He supportively stayed out of the way, took care of Grace, ran errands and the vacuum cleaner in the family room without being asked. I was fine with him leaving. The phone calls picked up and the visits slowed down. Mrs. C was granted one last visit with Mama, but most people who came to the door didn't make it down the hallway.

Daniel and Daddy came in and out of the room, sometimes to weep buckets (my dad) but mainly it was Kate, N, Grace and me rounding the clock. I sat on the floor and played with Grace and while she napped I started working on the newspaper obituary. It felt very strange writing that in the past tense while my mom steadily breathed in and out two feet away. We all decided on a picture of her to have framed and Daniel took on this project.

There were a few laughs--ones that my mom would have surely appreciated. Grace's baby monitor was back in my dad's room with her port-a-crib and the speaker was with us in the white room. Let's just say that it's fair to assume my dad did NOT know we could all hear him doing his bathroom business. But we did hear it. All. Other zanyness included Grace's battery-operated Farmer Brown toy going off LOUDLY in the middle of somber moments. There were several dramatic times when we thought "This is it! Everyone gather round, I think she's about to take her last breath!" And instead of it being her last breath, it was "FARMER BROWN HAS A BROWN HORSE. B-R-O-W-N H-O-R-S-E, Yuk, Yuk, Yuk" reminding us that there's never a bad time for a good sense of humor. And those who knew my mom knew she had one of the best.

Hours in that room were surprising therapeutic. She was using an oxygen tank and the steady breath, the rise and fall of her chest, the touch of her still-warm pulse was enough to keep us all going and grounded. She was our center and because of her, we all knew what and where our places were. She was still the beating heart of our family. At least for a few more days.