Potty Talk

Proper Name: Jose Alberto Pujols
Born: January 16, 1980
Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
Height: 6-3
Weight: 225 lbs.
Age: 26
Pronounced: POO-holes

Every parent who's been through it knows that a byproduct (no pun intended) of potty training is the relentless potty talk or "scatological" (That's a new word for me. Isn't that a board game??) talk that comes. Johnny was potty-trained back in January, and Grace joined the club in March. Ever since, it's been "poop" with this, "poop" with that, (even "poop" with a whiffle-ball bat!) If I ask Grace what she wants for breakfast, she replies, "poop." When asked if she's wants to wear the flowered shirt or the striped shirt, she says, "the poop shirt." When I ask her what she wants to take to show and tell, the answer is "poop." And when asked what flavor ice cream she wants, you guessed it, "poop." At first this was kind of funny, and David and I had to bite our lips and stifle our giggles at our sweet little girl's potty-mouth. Now, it's just getting kind of gross. My friend Amy has a rule that "potty talk" can only be done in the bathroom. Her three-year old actually goes into the bathroom and talks to herself about "poop" and "pee" and other expressions of excrement. Part of me celebrates Grace's potty-mouth, as it is "normal" for children her age to be fascinated with bodily functions, and we know how atypical much of her development has been. But the latest, and the funniest, antic is the hee-hawing that errupted when David introduced the kids to Jose Alberto Pujols, a baseball player for the St. Louis Cardinals, the 2005 National Leauge Most Valuable Player. Yep, his name is pronounced POO-holes. God, help us.