Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Old Neighborhood-Part I




I lived in the best neighborhood growing up, the best. Our house was smack-dab in the middle of New River Heights, a steep landing for fourteen homes bordering the south fork of the New River, which is actually the oldest river in North America. Twenty feet from a peaceful (but sometimes smelly) cow pasture, a stone's throw to the river where we skipped stones and caught fish, rhododendron and blackberry bushes in almost every yard, rolling hills and views of Howard's Knob, one-time home to the world's largest windmill. But it wasn't the landscape that made the old neighborhood so special, it was the people.. (I was trying to sound like Charles Kuralt--did I?)

People came and went--in fact, we moved away the summer before my 8th grade year--but there was a core of neighborhood kids that grounded those formative years in ways that will substantiate all childhood memories that I choose to share or quietly remember.
Ben was the alpha male, the leader of the boys, the heartthrob, the stud. His cousin Nathan was the goofy, sensitive artist, who spent summers in Boone but the rest of the year in Florida. Brian was the brown-noser, the over-reactor, the alarmist. He's the one who spread rumors that "Mrs. Lightfoot's been hitting the bottle," when my mom swerved slightly on the carpool home from Youth Group. He's also the one who shouted, "Hit the dirt! Mr. Lightfoot's got a gun!!" when he saw my dad putting my brother's b-b-gun away. Brian's younger sister Jessica was the youngest of the neighborhood kids and rarely joined the rest of us in our reindeer games. However, a mere year older than Jessica, my sister Kate weasled her way into everything the older kids did--often to the older kids' dismay. Kate was always picked last for kickball games, and it was always made clear that her outs didn't count. The baby of our group, the scrappy tomboy, Kate got picked last and picked on a lot. When Ben rolled the ball "too bouncy" and "too fast" and "too hard" for her young legs, she replied in exasperation, "You make everything hard," and this, to the older kids, became the longest inside joke for years. I laughed along with the 9th, 10th, and 11th graders and never let on that I didn't get what was so funny. I guess, then, that made me the naive girl-next-door. Daniel hung out with the boys, in the treehouse, in front of the Atari screen, under the basketball goal, but he lacked Ben's confidence, Nathan's charm and Brian's guts. Stuart was like my big sister, the prep, who introduced me to drugstore blush, Jordache jeans, and izod shirts with the collars turned up. Her younger brother Will was the chubby kid who ate lots of ice cream, and whose father insisted that he would eventually shoot up and slim down. (He did). And finally, Laurie, who was the alpha female, our leader, the one who introduced us to screwdriver drinks, INXS, and camping out on Friday 13ths.

There were others, who moved out early or moved in late, but these 9--Ben, Nathan, Brian, Daniel, Kate, me, Stuart, Will, and Laurie--we were the core, we were the "Old Neighborhood..." and yes, I've already organized the reunion.

Monday, May 28, 2007

The "S"-ence of My Weekend

Summer: I told the kids we would put the back-porch pool up when it was summer. Summer officially arrived at our house this weekend. The pool rocks.


Sandbox: David built a killer sandbox in our yard two weekends ago. It's in the shade. We all can get nice and sandy then hop in our pool to clean off.

Swingset: Grace has officially learned how to "pump" all by herself. With the swimming pool, the sandbox and the swingset, Grace says, "We have a real park in our own yard!" Amen.

Swimming: We were invited to be guests at a cool pool in Durham. The kids loved it and could spend hours there. We're debating joining the family pool that is closest to our house...but it's $400 up front and about $500 per year. If enough people invite us to be guests all summer, we could pull a real coup.

Southpoint Mall: How do you spend a holiday (read: day off) intended to honor the men and women who serve our country? You go to the mall! It kind of makes me sick, but we were right there with them.

Salsa Dancing and Socializing with Strangers: A new friend I met at the gym invited me to visit her Salsa Dance class and then go out for a drink with her and her friend. The dancers were saucy and scintillating, and the conversation the gals had was stimulating.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Summer


And you thought the Friday haikus were over? You must not know 'bout me.

Summer

Mosquitos, sunburns
Playing outside until dark
Summer is here now.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Amazing Grace

Yesterday we got the type of confirmation that we've been seeking for almost 6 years: Grace has an Auditory Processing Disorder. "Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) occurs when the brain cannot process or understand correctly the sounds the ears hear, even though the ears might be functioning properly. It is rarely recognized, often misdiagnosed, and poorly understood, yet the effects can be devastating." My heart goes out to Grace, because even though I wouldn't call the effects of her disorder "devastating" (not yet, anyway), I know she struggles more than we realize, just to be a typical kid and do normal kid-things. In addition to (or as a result of? still unknown to me at this time) Grace's APD, she also still struggles with Sensory Integration Dysfunction, Developmental Dyspraxia, and signs of ADD. In a nutshell, her neurons and brain pathways are not firing correctly, and she has real difficulties getting her body to do what she wants it to do and to say what she wants it to say. Can you imagine how frustrating and even scary this must be to her? I have no idea what her brain hears and how jumbled sounds are to her, but one mother describes it "like sound through water." Yet Grace has developed fairly sophisticated defense mechanisms and coping strategies to exist in her little world, while managing to find and foster immense joy. I keep having this image of hammering her brain pathways back in line, like putting a train track back together that has been derailed. While I do want to continue to find the best treatments, adaptations, and therapies to help her cope and even overcome this difficulty, I don't want any of it to take away her unique "Graceness" that is so endearing to me and to the world.

I recently got an e-mail from a friend who has a child with a rare skin disorder that has required this four-year old to undergo plastic surgery. To reward the child for all she's been through, the family took a trip to Disney World. Her mother, my friend, wrote that the expense and the ordeal was worth it to see the joy on her daughter's face at Disney. Never having taken my kids to Disney or ever visiting Disney myself, I can only imagine the magic of that place. I know my kids would get immense pleasure from going to Disney. BUT, Grace got the same amount of joy and pleasure from a simple picture that I printed off the Internet about a week ago.

This picture, a picture of a character who plays "Benjy" in "How to Eat Fried Worms,"was enough to elicit as much joy in Grace as a trip to Disney World would. After giving her the picture, she told me over and over, "Mommy, I'm happy." And she was. So was I.



In the face of all of her daily struggles, Grace has a sense of humor that shines. While Johnny's literal mind often only finds humor in what is logically funny, Grace is able to laugh and delight in the non-sense, the absurd, the ridiculous--in other words, the wonderful world of Dr. Seuss. We've recently discovered one of his best, What Was I Scared Of? In it, a little Seuss creature encounters a spooky pair of pants:


Then I was deep within the woods


When, suddenly, I spied them.


I saw a pair of pale green pants


With nobody inside them!

Grace immediately found the humor in this and has re-enacted the story over and over, chasing Johnny with an empy pair of her own pants (with nobody inside them) to his dismay. She gets it. He doesn't.

Don't tell me that there's nothing wrong with Grace developmentally; But don't stop telling me that she's going to be ok. I know she will be. She already is.