Last night's 11th hour (literally) "Facebook raise-a-thon" was an experience like no other. I'll never forget it and will be telling the story for years to come. Wow! I couldn't keep up with you all who rallied to my call and cause. Donations were coming in faster than I could keep up with, and they continue to come in. I just checked, and I'm at 109% of my goal! Just, wow.
I needed to sleep last night, and I fell asleep with a smile on my face around 1:00 AM. Some time after that, I heard Grace get up to go to the bathroom. I got out of bed and shared with her the fantastic news! I said, "Grace! I met my goal! I met my goal, and I'm going to Hawaii!!" She squealed, grabbed my waist and gave me the most authentic, genuine hug I've ever received. She told me she was proud of me, and her emotional response was appropriate. She crawled in bed beside me, waiting to fall back asleep and said, "I'm sorry I threw my goggles at you, Mommy." Yesterday afternoon as I was completing tasks on my "next right things" to-do list, the kids were ready for swimming before I was. I needed to finish a before starting b, and the kids just wanted to go swimming already. In a classic mode of poor coping with disappointments, Grace threw her goggles at me hitting me in the face. Perhaps at that point I should have called the whole swim trip off. But, no, I couldn't, because it was going to be the only time left that I'd be able to get any exercise in for me.
The kids and I went, and I tried to balance the kids' unbridled enthusiasm with enforcing rules such as no splashing directly in people's faces, no running, and no dipping feet into the hot tub while I did my four laps. Johnny seems to break all the rules unwittingly, and Grace more than not knows exactly what's she's doing. When the kid swim time had officially ended, I gave them explicit directions about what to do and where to sit while I did four quick laps. Did they stay in their chairs? No. Did Johnny continue to ask me if he could just dip his feet in the hot tub? Yes.
I paused from swimming my laps and responded to a middle-aged man in the hot tub who commented, "Boy, you kids are tough," as Johnny looked at me while dipping his left big toe into the hot tub. "Are they tough, or am I weak?" I asked. Johnny shot back, "You're weak, Mommy!"
"Get back in your chair, now, Johnny. Right now." He did. I finished my laps.
The kids don't understand the issues that grown-ups, their grown-ups, have to contemplate, deal with, solve. They shouldn't have to--they're kids. While I do understand, it's been harder for me over the last few years to stay focused on their grown-ups' issues, or at least this grown-up's issues, like paying the power bill today and making sure the check I wrote for summer school tuition wouldn't bounce.
Today's "next right thing" included an interview at an agency that will possibly be where I am placed as a social-work intern this coming academic year and a board meeting where I am currently employed.
As joyful as I am about the generosity of so many of you who helped me personally as well as a cause much bigger than any of us as individuals, reality still bites sometimes. It's a little hard to do the happy "Victory Dance" once I learned that a friend's father died last night, that my cousin continues to suffer from socially unacceptable diseases, and that the partner of a Team Challenge "Crohnee" (who is going to Kona!) had not raised the funds necessary the last time I checked so is probably not going to go to Kona.
Life is hard, and people close to me are in physical and emotional pain, financial crises, and uncertainty about how to make it all come together to work. I know, because I'm in (some) physical and emotional pain, personal financial crisis and am uncertain about how to make it all come together to work.
What I do know? I don't have to have it all figured out right now, right this red-hot minute! I need to take a deep breath (inhale, exhale), and just do the "next right thing."
And that is to thank everyone reading this who has publicly and/or privately rooted for my family and me in any way during our darkest and most joyful times.
To that, I am again smiling and doing a victory dance in my cluttered little head.
Now, my "next right thing" is to log off, pack up, go pee, and get to work.
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