Now We Wait and See

I had a brain MRI yesterday morning at UNC Hospitals and the most jarring thing about it was when it was over. All the yoga I've been doing lately prepared me to lie there in stillness and in peace for what felt like a very loud (but still relaxing) twenty-five minute shavasana. The jack-hammer drills and siren-like beeps did not bother me, especially with my ear plugs in to take off the edge. I found it strangely relaxing and was jolted back to consciousness only when it was over and I was slid back into bright lights and real life. Now we just just wait. I either have lesions on my pituitary gland or I don't. Like funnyman Dave Barry recently wrote in a column about getting a colonoscopy:

Which brings us to you, Mr. or Mrs. or Miss or Ms. Over-50-And-Hasn't-Had-a-Colonoscopy. Here's the deal: You either have colorectal cancer, or you don't. If you do, a colonoscopy will enable doctors to find it and do something about it. And if you don't have cancer, believe me, it's very reassuring to know you don't. There is no sane reason for you not to have it done.

That's exactly how I felt about getting my MRI yesterday (and my upcoming adrenal-gland ultrasound on Monday). Something is either fundamentally wrong with the functioning of my endocrine glands or it isn't. I need to know one way or another. If there's something on them that shouldn't be there, I need to know now to deal with it. If they pass a clean bill of health, then I need to move on, start coping with my symptoms differently and make that appointment with my psychiatrist that I'm sure some think is long overdue.

There's a fine line between "It's all in your head, Sarah" and "HELP ME! IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD!" Hopefully that line will become clearer within about a week.