Do We or Don't We?

Johnny wants an electric guitar for Christmas--with an amp. He wanted a Batman car last year (and got one--a lego-sized small version that he's hardly touched in the last eleven months). If he does get one, I'll make sure it's from us and not from Santa--I don't want Santa to peak too early, ya know. Not surprisingly, I'm sure, I'm leaning towards "not." But there is a part of David and me that likes Johnny's declaration that he's not getting his hair cut--even his bangs that are in his eyes--because rock stars have long hair. Like, maybe he was born with a genetic coolness that passed us by and he's destined to perform on stage during the Super Bowl half-time shows rather than tooting in the marching band like me.

Four may be a little young to indulge in such an expensive and loud Christmas wish---but you have to wonder, how many of these guys (and even a few gals) got their start before entering Kindergarten?

Worth It

Two of my favorite things about visiting my family in Boone are the wonderful spa-like showers I take at Kate's place and the impromptu social gatherings held in her lawn or her landlord's back terrace. The water in Kate's tiled shower is hot and has perfect strong pressure and there's always a citrus-lime-scented body wash or scrub that makes the cleansing ritual a perfect experience. I never want to step out of the nourishing steam onto the cold, hard floor tiles, but that just motivates me to dry off and get dressed quicker so I can emerge into her cozy living room kept warm by a blazing wood stove.

The other thing I love (and this also happens at Kate's) are the social gatherings that take place between her friends, our family, Kate's landlord J, and his friends. There's overlap in J's and Kate's circle as J is my dad's best friend in Boone. It makes sense that if we're celebrating a birthday outdoors in her patch of grass (that J actually owns) J is welcome to join in. As are his friends and believe me, J has a lot of friends that steadily stream in and out of his side of the house. Some days J's random friends join us as there is always an extra piece of cake or slice of watermelon to share. Friday, we were the ones that gathered on J's terrace, all bundled up amidst a snow flurry here and there to enjoy fresh raw, steamed, and fried oysters and homemade potato chips. J's friend A walked up as my dad, sister and family were standing around drinking beer, adding hot sauce and slurping oysters out of the shells. That's the way it always happens. Someone extra walks up and instantly there's a party. They thought they were just getting J but they get all of us and we have a widened audience on which to perform all of our family banter. This time J said to A, "Oh, you got my message?" A said, "No, what message?" It turns out that with two bushels of fresh oysters from NC's coast harvested on Wed., J was spreading the word to come on out and help him eat them up. But J's friends should know they don't need a special invitation--when J's home, there will be good food, something good to drink and good company--oysters or not.

Standing in the cold watching my kids try their first oysters (and deciding they weren't yum), listening to Kate and my dad catch up and joke--something they hadn't done for over a year-- David reliving a taste of the ocean from the time we first met (when he ate a lot of raw oysters), and watching J do his outdoor cooking magic--it was unlike any day after Thanksgiving I've ever had---and it was one of the best.

Stuff

Oof, I haven't posted in a week...lots has been going on. Saw Obama at Central, had another paper due, dressed up like a woman from 1899 and did a presentation in class on Katherine Pettit and the founding of Hindman Settlement School in the mountains of Eastern KY. In a sec, I'll drive J to school and then head to Grace's doctor to talk about ADD medication for her (if there ever were a time, the time is now), then I'm going to the Community Shelter with some churchmates to help prepare a meal for the guests. At 1:00 PM I'm going to Grace's school to watch the Kindergarteners do their Thanksgiving Program. Tomorrow we're off to Boone for the day and night to eat T-Giving with my dad at a restaurant. Yes, the plans changed and I'm disappointed. Life goes on. Below is a video from when we went to the State Fair last month...apparently on the busiest day of the fair's history.

On The Verge of Getting Weird

Grace crushes easily. On boys that is. I've already addressed her Boy Craziness here, but I feel the need to address the subject once again. I was hardly ever open about my crushes with my friends, much less my parents. In fact, it wasn't until I announced my engagement to be married that they officially knew that I even liked boys. I did like boys, however, and I do have some early memories. Apparently I had a little boyfriend named "Rocky" in Kindergarten but I remember nothing about him other than vague images of him always wanting to start a fight. Then in first or second grade, I remember one of my brother's friends (who's two years older) knocking on our door one afternoon. I remember saying, "Daniel's not here," and him replying, "I'm not here to see Daniel, I'm here to see you." That was enough to spark a crush. Other than that, my crushes were very private, especially from my parents.

In Junior High I'd play these little games with myself while I was practicing the piano. I'd do things like, if I play these two lines without messing up at all, it means he likes me. Or when we were driving around town if we'd be in his neighborhood, I always imagined that maybe, just maybe, he'd be outside just at the time we were driving by and maybe, just maybe, he'd see me. The potential kept the thrill alive.

In High School I had a lot of crushes that I kept pretty much to myself. There was this one new guy (who was also friends with my brother) that was the coolest thing to blow into town. He was in my English class and my friend R had a major crush on him. Little did she know, so did I. I never told anyone about that crush but I feel like I may have been busted when Daniel caught me writing this guy's name over and over and over and over on a sheet of notebook paper. The whole sheet of paper was filled up with his name. On the verge of getting weird. Grace is on the verge.

She is currently obsessed (and yes, it's a full-blown obsession) with a little boy at school, we'll call him "K" who is her teacher's son. K isn't in Grace's class, but they do see each other at recess and for special activities. It's K this, K that, tell a story about K, Mommy. Grace's two favorite things these days are 1.) playing around on the computer and 2.) hearing stories about K. When Grace acts up and does things like pulls Johnny's hair because there are no eggs left for baking pancakes (?), her consequences are 1.) no computer time and 2.) no stories about K.

She demands so many stories about K all day long that it's beginning to drive me nuts. Tell me a story about K Trick-or-Treating, Mommy; Tell a story about K going to the doctor; Tell a story about K going to school. Tell it, Mommy, tell it. When I suggest to Grace that she tell me a story about K, she says, "No, Mommy, you tell it." I am so tired of making up stories about K that I've gotten to the point that I actually look forward to her first infraction of the day so I can take that priveledge away from her. On weekend days, I've come to limit my stories about K to 6: 2 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon, and 2 in the evening. No more!

In addition to wanting to hear stories about K, Grace reports every little thing about him that she can remember during the day. His tummy hurt, he's fine now, he said "Bye bye" to me, he danced like this, his middle name is Scott, he said "Go" to me today. "He said 'go' to you today?" "Yes, Mommy, on the playground when it was my turn to go down the slide, he said, 'go.' He actually did." Yesterday he didn't actually say anything to her but she reported that he looked at her. (He really did). The other night Grace said she wanted to dream but she didn't know what to dream about. I told her that she could dream about K and she was like, "Really, Mommy? I can dream about K?" "Yes, Grace, and you never know, he may dream about you too."

Grace told her teacher that she had a crush on K. I'm not sure her teacher quite knows what to make of it but I've decided to lay off on my daily reports to her of what Grace says about K because we're currently towing the line between isn't that cute and on the verge of getting weird.

While I Was Studying

Coffee Talk #1

At the Starbucks on the corner of Weston Parkway and Harrison Ave. in Cary, this past Thursday on my lunch break:

Me: What's brewing right now?

Worker: Blah, blah, and Christmas Blend.

Me: I'll have a grande, Christmas Blend, black.

Big Bald Guy standing beside me at the counter: Black Christmas. That doesn't sound too good. (Looking at the piece of Red Velvet Cake he's just paid for) My wife makes the absolute best Red Velvet Cake. I want to see how this one stands up.

(Later at the tables after I've taken a few sips of coffee and he's taken a few bites of cake)

Me: So, how does it measure up?

Big Bald Guy: My wife's is a 10...this is a 4 or a 5.

Me: Oooh

BBG: (takes another bite of cake). This is too airy. Red Velvet Cake is not supposed to be this airy. It's supposed to be dense.

(A businessman who's been eavesdropping whips around)

Business Man: Now, what did you say was too airy?

BBG: This piece of Red Velvet Cake. It's supposed to be dense.

BM: Oh, I know. My wife is an expert baker. In fact, we're opening a new restaurant soon.

BBG: Oh, really? Where??

BM: In Gulf Shores, AL.

BBG: Oh, that's a beautiful area. Hey, lemme run out to the car and I'll get you a copy of my book. It's about marketing for small businesses.

(BBG leaves, comes back in seconds later with a book)

BBG: What's your name? I'll sign it for you.

(He inscribes the book. Business Man #2 walks up to BM. BM turns away from BBG and starts working on his computer...BM#2 walks away)

BM: My boss doesn't like it when I talk enthusiastically about the restaurant. I work for (big important IT company).

BBG: Ah. Well, here you are, sir. Do you have a card? I travel to Gulf Shores, AL about twice a year.

BM: Sure (hands BBG his card). (with a gleam in his eye...he has a nice smile) Is there any recipe that you're dying to get your hands on?

BBG: (thinks for a moment). Pie crust. I'd love a recipe for the perfect pie crust.

BM: You got it.

The two men shake hands and BBG says: Keep smiling. (He looks at me and says, "He has such a nice smile, don't you agree?") I do agree.

BBG: So, are you in marketing too?

Me: Oh, no. I'm in grad school studying to be a social worker. And I work up on Weston at a private, non-profit. My husband is the VP of a non-profit in Carrboro and he's big into marketing right now.

BBG: Oh, lemme run out to my car and get you a book too. You can apply these principles to non-profits too.

Me: Oh, well, you can't give two of your books away in one day.

BBG: (as he leaves the store) You can never give yourself away.

So he gives me a book, we chat for awhile about the book and he signs it for me and tells me he hopes my husband likes it. I think, I hope my husband likes it too. That's one less Christmas present I have to buy. But I decide not to wait for Christmas, because I want to tell David the story. He shows me this absolute terrible marketing book he bought that says stuff all the way through it like: "B-I-G IDEA: Death of Distance. big idea: VALUE=V-R-R-O-O-O-O-M!" David is skeptical that the book I got from the stranger will be any better.

He gets a few pages into it this morning and tells me it's not really that bad. Other than the title, "dog eat dog & vice versa," because isn't the "vice versa" a little redundant? He does have a point.

I'm Beginning to Get It

I have to admit that I've never been a Radiohead fan. It's not that I hate them or anything, I just have never understood what the big deal is about them and how so many people can think they're so it, including my husband. So, I never saw this day coming, but I'm going to write about a Radiohead song.

The evening routine at my house has morphed into bath, brush, stories, and music. We used to do it differently when the kids were younger, but for about a year or so, after the kids have bathed and brushed we all four congregate in Grace's room for family story and music time. Either David reads to them or I do, and while one parent is reading, the other either just listens or silently reads something of their choice on their own. After we've exhausted the stories, we turn the light off and pick a CD to listen to while the kids fall asleep and David and I lie there and listen. To those of you who say, "Cut the cord, let the kids fall asleep on their own!" I say, "Quit talking so loud, I can't hear the music." It's become my favorite part of the day, after the physical and emotional stress and labor of everyday life. A chunk of my day dedicated to lying there in peace, listening to as much or as little of a CD of good music. The CDs in rotation are all music that David and I like, not necessarily kids' lullabies (but not necessarily not, either). We've listened to Sarah McLachlan, Norah Jones, the soundtrack to Garden State, classical and John Coltrane. We're currently on Radiohead's newest release, In Rainbows, thanks to David.

The albums chosen for evening listening have to be primarily mellow and dream-inducing, not fast, loud, and energy-inducing. In Rainbows is perfect. We start off with "Nude" and the kids enjoy listening to the angels sing. It's the only time in my life that I've listened to this much Radiohead at one time. Not so for David. David is "one of those" who has listened to various Radiohead albums over and over and over and over and over at certain times in his young-adult life. I just have never gotten what the hype is all about. I wouldn't say that I've been completely won over, but I'm beginning to get it. Especially with the last song on the album, "Vidoetape."

"Videotape" is slow, steady, and somber, reminding me through timbre and tempo of a funeral procession. In fact, the lyrics do indicate death, saying goodbye and reaching above but being pulled from below. The song is in 4/4 time all the way through, suggestive of a march. Piano chords alone keep steady time through quarter notes for the first few bars then joining the piano are snare-drum beats on beats 1 and 3. The tempo never changes, but more percussion is added to provide swell and crescendo. Next I hear what sounds like a rolling timpani drum beginning the rolls slightly before beat 1 to end with the snare and piano on beats 1 and 3. As the song continues, a symbal is introduced, I think a high-hat, but played with a stick, not pedal. This is where the steadiness deviates as the symbals tap inconsistently to what has been going on so far. The most interesting element, however, is when the glockenspiel is introduced (at least I think it's a glockenspiel) adding this hard-to-figure-out percussive element of both dissonance and resolve. I've had to listen to this part over and over to determine if what I'm about to say is even true, but I've decided it is true...it's my true perception. The first time I heard this song was the other night as I was drifting off into dreams just like Johnny and Grace but was conscious enough to think, "Wow, there are some really interesting things going on here." When the glockenspiel-sounding instrument is introduced, it both fits with the 4/4 time and doesn't. It's dissonant and resolving, unpredicatable and predictable, mysterious and comforting. The glockenspiel taps out three notes that somehow incredibly start off before beat 1 but end on beats 2 and 4. At least I think that's what I remember happening.

That's the thing...it caught me the first listen and since then I have listened several times over to figure out exactly how they've pulled off the persussion in this tune. I think I have it figured out, but I'm not sure. It's simple and complex. It's simply complex. Like I gather most of Radiohead's music is like. Whatever's going on, it's interesting. Interesting enough to ask David to dig out his worn-out Radiohead CDs so I can have a closer listen.

Thanksgiving Plans

Holidays are still quite hard for me without my mom because she made them what they were. Sometimes we would spend Thanksgiving in Boone, just the 5 of us, and sometimes we had a few people join us there. Often we traveled to Baltimore and the DC area to spend it with my mom's extended family until my parents decided they never wanted to be on the I-95 corridor during Thanksgiving weekend ever again. The last Thanksgiving in Baltimore was acutally my favorite. Above is a photo taken that year of the second cousins 19 years ago when I was 16. This is the year that my cousin Gabe (bottom row, third from right) taught his sister Welcome (sitting beside him) and Kate and me the wonderful card game Spades. The four of us played cards for hours while the adults drank whiskey and told stories. We didn't care what they did, and they didn't care what we did and we all had fun.

To me, Thanksgiving means the more, the merrier. Since my mom died, we haven't settled into a Thanksgiving tradition that we can all count on. And that's ok, because it's time for me to start my own things with David and the kids. But I'm really thrilled because we've lined up what we're going to do this year, and that is to drive up with my dad to his old college friend's Christmas tree farm in VA and spend the day with his family. This is the same friend that recently heard that my dad had died. The same friend whose granddaughter is in Grace's Kindergarten class. Many years ago, when we first moved into our house in Chatham County, my mom told me that S. C. (the daugther of my dad's college friend) also lived in Chatham County, and that there were like 12 things that S. C. and I had in common.

1. We're both named Sarah C.
2. We're both married to guys named David
3. We both have dads named Bill that used to go by Billy
4. We both have the nickname "Birdie"
5. We both have young children around the same age
5. We both live in north Chatham County.
6. We both shop at Lowes Foods
7. We both brush our teeth at night
8. We both like apples

and on and on. S. C. and I never connected until this year at Kindergarten. Her daugther and Grace are in the same class and ever since we discovered that, we've concocted ways to get our dads and daugthers together. B. C. (my dad's friend) had not talked to my dad in years because he (B. C.) was terribly upset about my mom. He was afraid that if he called my dad, he would bring up my mom and that it would upset my dad and then hearing my dad get upset would make him really upset. The rumor about my dad dying got B. C. and my dad talking again. The silence has been broken and now we're all planning to meet up at the Christmas tree farm to eat well, drink well, let the kids run around, play music, and let the two Billys tell all of their old stories. I can't wait.

Costumes

People (read: Aunt Kate) have been asking to see pictures of the kids dressed up for Halloween. Halloween dress-up began a week ago and continues even through tonight. My kids couldn't have been anything more predictable (Cinderella and Superman) but they were pleased and that's all that counts. Click here to see them in costume last week at Chapel Hill Comics, David's new favorite place to take them every Saturday. For showing up in costume, they each got a free comic.