While I Was Studying

Coffee Talk #1

At the Starbucks on the corner of Weston Parkway and Harrison Ave. in Cary, this past Thursday on my lunch break:

Me: What's brewing right now?

Worker: Blah, blah, and Christmas Blend.

Me: I'll have a grande, Christmas Blend, black.

Big Bald Guy standing beside me at the counter: Black Christmas. That doesn't sound too good. (Looking at the piece of Red Velvet Cake he's just paid for) My wife makes the absolute best Red Velvet Cake. I want to see how this one stands up.

(Later at the tables after I've taken a few sips of coffee and he's taken a few bites of cake)

Me: So, how does it measure up?

Big Bald Guy: My wife's is a 10...this is a 4 or a 5.

Me: Oooh

BBG: (takes another bite of cake). This is too airy. Red Velvet Cake is not supposed to be this airy. It's supposed to be dense.

(A businessman who's been eavesdropping whips around)

Business Man: Now, what did you say was too airy?

BBG: This piece of Red Velvet Cake. It's supposed to be dense.

BM: Oh, I know. My wife is an expert baker. In fact, we're opening a new restaurant soon.

BBG: Oh, really? Where??

BM: In Gulf Shores, AL.

BBG: Oh, that's a beautiful area. Hey, lemme run out to the car and I'll get you a copy of my book. It's about marketing for small businesses.

(BBG leaves, comes back in seconds later with a book)

BBG: What's your name? I'll sign it for you.

(He inscribes the book. Business Man #2 walks up to BM. BM turns away from BBG and starts working on his computer...BM#2 walks away)

BM: My boss doesn't like it when I talk enthusiastically about the restaurant. I work for (big important IT company).

BBG: Ah. Well, here you are, sir. Do you have a card? I travel to Gulf Shores, AL about twice a year.

BM: Sure (hands BBG his card). (with a gleam in his eye...he has a nice smile) Is there any recipe that you're dying to get your hands on?

BBG: (thinks for a moment). Pie crust. I'd love a recipe for the perfect pie crust.

BM: You got it.

The two men shake hands and BBG says: Keep smiling. (He looks at me and says, "He has such a nice smile, don't you agree?") I do agree.

BBG: So, are you in marketing too?

Me: Oh, no. I'm in grad school studying to be a social worker. And I work up on Weston at a private, non-profit. My husband is the VP of a non-profit in Carrboro and he's big into marketing right now.

BBG: Oh, lemme run out to my car and get you a book too. You can apply these principles to non-profits too.

Me: Oh, well, you can't give two of your books away in one day.

BBG: (as he leaves the store) You can never give yourself away.

So he gives me a book, we chat for awhile about the book and he signs it for me and tells me he hopes my husband likes it. I think, I hope my husband likes it too. That's one less Christmas present I have to buy. But I decide not to wait for Christmas, because I want to tell David the story. He shows me this absolute terrible marketing book he bought that says stuff all the way through it like: "B-I-G IDEA: Death of Distance. big idea: VALUE=V-R-R-O-O-O-O-M!" David is skeptical that the book I got from the stranger will be any better.

He gets a few pages into it this morning and tells me it's not really that bad. Other than the title, "dog eat dog & vice versa," because isn't the "vice versa" a little redundant? He does have a point.

I'm Beginning to Get It

I have to admit that I've never been a Radiohead fan. It's not that I hate them or anything, I just have never understood what the big deal is about them and how so many people can think they're so it, including my husband. So, I never saw this day coming, but I'm going to write about a Radiohead song.

The evening routine at my house has morphed into bath, brush, stories, and music. We used to do it differently when the kids were younger, but for about a year or so, after the kids have bathed and brushed we all four congregate in Grace's room for family story and music time. Either David reads to them or I do, and while one parent is reading, the other either just listens or silently reads something of their choice on their own. After we've exhausted the stories, we turn the light off and pick a CD to listen to while the kids fall asleep and David and I lie there and listen. To those of you who say, "Cut the cord, let the kids fall asleep on their own!" I say, "Quit talking so loud, I can't hear the music." It's become my favorite part of the day, after the physical and emotional stress and labor of everyday life. A chunk of my day dedicated to lying there in peace, listening to as much or as little of a CD of good music. The CDs in rotation are all music that David and I like, not necessarily kids' lullabies (but not necessarily not, either). We've listened to Sarah McLachlan, Norah Jones, the soundtrack to Garden State, classical and John Coltrane. We're currently on Radiohead's newest release, In Rainbows, thanks to David.

The albums chosen for evening listening have to be primarily mellow and dream-inducing, not fast, loud, and energy-inducing. In Rainbows is perfect. We start off with "Nude" and the kids enjoy listening to the angels sing. It's the only time in my life that I've listened to this much Radiohead at one time. Not so for David. David is "one of those" who has listened to various Radiohead albums over and over and over and over and over at certain times in his young-adult life. I just have never gotten what the hype is all about. I wouldn't say that I've been completely won over, but I'm beginning to get it. Especially with the last song on the album, "Vidoetape."

"Videotape" is slow, steady, and somber, reminding me through timbre and tempo of a funeral procession. In fact, the lyrics do indicate death, saying goodbye and reaching above but being pulled from below. The song is in 4/4 time all the way through, suggestive of a march. Piano chords alone keep steady time through quarter notes for the first few bars then joining the piano are snare-drum beats on beats 1 and 3. The tempo never changes, but more percussion is added to provide swell and crescendo. Next I hear what sounds like a rolling timpani drum beginning the rolls slightly before beat 1 to end with the snare and piano on beats 1 and 3. As the song continues, a symbal is introduced, I think a high-hat, but played with a stick, not pedal. This is where the steadiness deviates as the symbals tap inconsistently to what has been going on so far. The most interesting element, however, is when the glockenspiel is introduced (at least I think it's a glockenspiel) adding this hard-to-figure-out percussive element of both dissonance and resolve. I've had to listen to this part over and over to determine if what I'm about to say is even true, but I've decided it is true...it's my true perception. The first time I heard this song was the other night as I was drifting off into dreams just like Johnny and Grace but was conscious enough to think, "Wow, there are some really interesting things going on here." When the glockenspiel-sounding instrument is introduced, it both fits with the 4/4 time and doesn't. It's dissonant and resolving, unpredicatable and predictable, mysterious and comforting. The glockenspiel taps out three notes that somehow incredibly start off before beat 1 but end on beats 2 and 4. At least I think that's what I remember happening.

That's the thing...it caught me the first listen and since then I have listened several times over to figure out exactly how they've pulled off the persussion in this tune. I think I have it figured out, but I'm not sure. It's simple and complex. It's simply complex. Like I gather most of Radiohead's music is like. Whatever's going on, it's interesting. Interesting enough to ask David to dig out his worn-out Radiohead CDs so I can have a closer listen.

Thanksgiving Plans

Holidays are still quite hard for me without my mom because she made them what they were. Sometimes we would spend Thanksgiving in Boone, just the 5 of us, and sometimes we had a few people join us there. Often we traveled to Baltimore and the DC area to spend it with my mom's extended family until my parents decided they never wanted to be on the I-95 corridor during Thanksgiving weekend ever again. The last Thanksgiving in Baltimore was acutally my favorite. Above is a photo taken that year of the second cousins 19 years ago when I was 16. This is the year that my cousin Gabe (bottom row, third from right) taught his sister Welcome (sitting beside him) and Kate and me the wonderful card game Spades. The four of us played cards for hours while the adults drank whiskey and told stories. We didn't care what they did, and they didn't care what we did and we all had fun.

To me, Thanksgiving means the more, the merrier. Since my mom died, we haven't settled into a Thanksgiving tradition that we can all count on. And that's ok, because it's time for me to start my own things with David and the kids. But I'm really thrilled because we've lined up what we're going to do this year, and that is to drive up with my dad to his old college friend's Christmas tree farm in VA and spend the day with his family. This is the same friend that recently heard that my dad had died. The same friend whose granddaughter is in Grace's Kindergarten class. Many years ago, when we first moved into our house in Chatham County, my mom told me that S. C. (the daugther of my dad's college friend) also lived in Chatham County, and that there were like 12 things that S. C. and I had in common.

1. We're both named Sarah C.
2. We're both married to guys named David
3. We both have dads named Bill that used to go by Billy
4. We both have the nickname "Birdie"
5. We both have young children around the same age
5. We both live in north Chatham County.
6. We both shop at Lowes Foods
7. We both brush our teeth at night
8. We both like apples

and on and on. S. C. and I never connected until this year at Kindergarten. Her daugther and Grace are in the same class and ever since we discovered that, we've concocted ways to get our dads and daugthers together. B. C. (my dad's friend) had not talked to my dad in years because he (B. C.) was terribly upset about my mom. He was afraid that if he called my dad, he would bring up my mom and that it would upset my dad and then hearing my dad get upset would make him really upset. The rumor about my dad dying got B. C. and my dad talking again. The silence has been broken and now we're all planning to meet up at the Christmas tree farm to eat well, drink well, let the kids run around, play music, and let the two Billys tell all of their old stories. I can't wait.

Costumes

People (read: Aunt Kate) have been asking to see pictures of the kids dressed up for Halloween. Halloween dress-up began a week ago and continues even through tonight. My kids couldn't have been anything more predictable (Cinderella and Superman) but they were pleased and that's all that counts. Click here to see them in costume last week at Chapel Hill Comics, David's new favorite place to take them every Saturday. For showing up in costume, they each got a free comic.